In every role-playing game (RPG), there comes a moment when the hero realizes they can’t face the journey alone. Whether it’s a ragtag group of adventurers in Dungeons & Dragons, a found family of misfits in Final Fantasy, or the chosen crew in Mass Effect, the message is the same: the story only comes alive when we gather our party. For many queer folks and trauma survivors, this lesson hits deeply. We learn early how to survive on our own - how to guard our hearts, mask our pain, and keep moving even when connection feels risky. But healing, like any epic quest, is not a solo mission.
The Power of the Party System
In RPGs, the party system is a radical act of interdependence. Each character brings their own strengths, flaws, and stories - and together, they create balance. The healer keeps the group alive. The rogue spots danger ahead. The tank takes the hits when others can’t. No one is self-sufficient, and that’s the point.
In therapy and in life, we build our own parties: the friend who texts “just checking in,” the partner who holds space for our tears, the therapist who helps us map the labyrinth of our inner world. Healing happens in those shared moments of courage and vulnerability, when we realize that mutual care is not weakness - it’s survival strategy.
Experience Points and Emotional Growth
Every boss battle, side quest, or unexpected detour gives us experience points. In RPGs, those translate to new skills; in life, they become emotional growth. Maybe we’ve learned to set a boundary without guilt. Maybe we’ve practiced asking for help and learned that love doesn’t vanish when we do. Those are level-ups just as worthy of celebration as any stat boost or magical artifact. But progress isn’t linear. Sometimes we grind the same level for what feels like forever. We return to familiar wounds and wonder why they still hurt. That’s not failure - it’s part of the process. Healing often means revisiting old dungeons with new tools.
Finding - and Trusting - Your Party
Choosing your party can be one of the hardest parts of healing. Many queer and neurodivergent folks have been burned before by communities that promised acceptance but delivered harm. It takes time and discernment to recognize who’s truly safe for your journey.
Healthy party members:
Celebrate your growth instead of competing with it
Respect your limits and honor your boundaries
Offer repair when there’s rupture
Let you be messy, complicated, and real
These are the people who make it possible to rest at the inn, patch your wounds, and keep moving toward something brighter.
Healing as a Cooperative Campaign
The longer I’ve been both a therapist and a gamer, the more I see how much healing mirrors a cooperative campaign. We don’t “win” at therapy. We learn, rest, and grow with the people who choose to adventure alongside us. We find the courage to share our inventory - our fears, our hopes, our history - and trust that others will meet us there. So, if you’re on your own healing quest, consider this your gentle reminder: you don’t have to solo it. Find your party. Let them hold light when your torch runs low. And remember - every story gets better when it’s shared.
If you’re struggling to find your own party, need to restock your inventory, or are looking for a new map, I can help! Feel free to reach out at corey@autumncounseling.com or call/text 832-930-3013.